Drops of Light
by shirozora
Summary: So many regrets, so little time. One talent, one love. If only she hadn't had that allergy attack while driving...[AU][Somine][For PK with love]


**Author's Note:**I felt I owed PK something, and I also felt I owed this fanfiction community something other than the stories I usually write. Therefore, my first Somine. Enjoy.

**For:** PK. Luv ya, girl!

**Copyrights:** All characters belong to Square-Enix and Disney. The storyline is mine…mostly. Inspired by _House, M.D._ That show R0X.

Drops of Light

-_A Somine-_

Over a lifetime people build up layers of regrets. They look back on their lives and they ponder over what they have done, wishing many times that they could take back whatever they had said, whatever they had done, whatever they hadn't done.

If only she could turn back time. If only she was older and not younger. She was young, much too young, far too innocent to deal with this. Deal with all of this.

It was an accident, she maintained, insisted. She never tried to make it happen, didn't know it would happen. Her parents had been out and she decided to ditch home and go somewhere for a change, despite everything her mother told her. While going around the city, she had stopped to buy a snack. Against her better judgment, she decided to eat while driving, and suffered an allergic reaction to the sandwich she bought. She lost control of the car.

That was seven months ago.

Naminé sighed as she leaned back against the pillow she propped up on against the headboard of her bed. She was still feeling tired – she had been feeling tired for six months now – but she was also feeling bored. She was bored out of her mind and yet she knew she could never leave her room. Not with her mom so paranoid over her wellbeing.

She turned her head to look at the top of the wooden headboard. There wasn't even a light dusting of...well…dust. Everything in the house was meticulously cleaned. Dust was nonexistent in her home.

She wished for once she could see a speck of mud on the varnished floor of her room.

But she couldn't. Who knows what's hidden deep in that speck of mud. She couldn't risk it, not even a walk outside. The drugs she took, the ones pressing down against her immune system, would never let her survive the world outside.

The world she desperately wanted to experience again.

Naminé sighed and reached over to the white bedside table next to her bed. She pulled the drawing pad and pencil towards her, then propped the drawing pad against her knees, flipped the cover open, and began flipping pages, each filled with pencil lines, until she found a crisp white blank page. It was practically screaming at her to draw on it. And she was willing to, if only to escape the prison that was her room.

A heart. Let's start with a heart. Why not? After all, that was what she was missing, right? Not just any heart, though. Her heart. Yes, her heart. What was in her heart? She shall outline a heart, and fill it with herself, with her dreams and desires and joys that she lost that day her car crashed.

Downstairs the doorbell rang. Naminé looked up from the light sketch marks she made. Who could that be?

Voices downstairs told her that this was no stranger. Several voices, actually. A group of people, she thought. Who could that be? Probably her mother's friends. They often came to comfort her mother and ask her about the girl locked up in her room.

Locked up. Her mother had the whole upstairs sterilized and had Naminé tell her when she was going to the restroom. The stairs were forbidden to her, rendering the downstairs and the outdoors untouchable. And the window…

Naminé looked at the window closest to her bed. That one she could slide up and down whenever she wanted. Just a few days ago she found out it wasn't rigged by the alarm system at home. And for obvious reasons: If that window was glued to the frame, she could suffocate. When her parents weren't home and they rigged the house, she could open the window whenever she wanted.

There was a tall tree out near the window but she hasn't even tried. Maybe her mother's talk about her fears for Naminé's wellbeing was getting towards her. That could be it. Or maybe she was just too tired.

Footsteps. Someone was coming upstairs! Naminé sat up quickly and looked wonderingly at the door. Her pencil continued moving over the page as the door opened and-

"Oh my god, Naminé!"

Her friends! Kairi, who was her cousin, ran to her bed with a sob and threw her arms around her. Over her shoulder, Naminé saw the rest of her friends file in. Orette, Riku, Selphie, Wakka, Tidus, Roxas, Hayner, Pence, Tidus, and-

Her stomach flip-flopped as Sora squeezed into the room, which had become rather lacking in space. His eyes seemed to sparkle in her direction as he waved his hand, and she quickly looked away, blushing. She hoped nobody saw it.

"So are you okay?"

"How you feelin', man?"

"She's not a man!"

"Oh shut up!"

"Oh my god, girl, it's been like forever!"

"Hey."

"Roxas, you've got to have more to say than that!"

"Hey, let him be! Even one word's enough-"

"Hayner, my camera! Let go!"

"Hey, hey, hey-"

Kairi turned her head and snapped, "Quit it! Keep this up and she throws us out!"

Everyone settled. Sora inched closer towards the bed. Naminé felt her stomach flip-flopping again. She looked away, got mad for looking at him without realizing it. She hated it when that happened.

"So…"

Selphie sat on the bed, too. That was when Naminé realized that everyone in the room was wearing masks over their noses and mouths. She groaned loudly. No way. Her mom was _beyond_ paranoid.

"What?" Riku asked.

"The…the…" She gestured, wasn't sure if she should say it out loud. What if her mom was listening in through the door? She settled for a series of hand gestures centered around the mouth and the nose.

"Oh…_that_," Kairi giggled. "Well…"

"She threw away my popsicle," Pence grumbled.

"And we scrubbed for an hour before she even let us touch the bottom stair," Hayner muttered. "She's crazy!"

"And you're going to get chucked out of here when she hears you, cousin or no," Tidus added.

Naminé smiled. Then she felt her art pad slide out of her grip and grabbed for it. It vanished quickly. She turned her head and a demand formed on her tongue. Who dared touch her precious escape from this room?

"Wow, you've improved since the last time we saw you," Sora said, his voice nearly lost over the voices of the other people in the room. That demand never made it out of her mouth. Her mouth went terribly dry and Naminé quickly looked away. She clutched at her blanket with trembling hands and prayed he didn't see them.

"I…I get bored…you know…"

He slowly sat down on the edge of the bed, flipping through each page slowly and with care. She watched him, feeling tense and nervous and giddy all at the same time. Again, she hoped he didn't notice.

_I hope there's nothing embarrassing in there_, she thought. _I mean, if I did draw something embarrassing…what would I draw?_

She couldn't remember for the life of her.

And then she noticed that Sora had stopped flipping the pages. Naminé leaned over, wondered if he had finished looking through the notebook, but no, he wasn't done, he was far from done. He was looking at a drawing, one she made of all their friends. He seemed to be studying the dark-haired boy with the wildly spiked hair, the one squabbling a boy with long pale hair.

"That's me, right?"

Naminé looked around. "Doesn't look like anybody else, does it?"

He laughed. It was a clear, strong sound, filling their little bubble while others chatted with each other. Sora looked at her and she felt her stomach churn. She hoped the heart inside her didn't react in ways that could potentially jeopardize this happy reunion.

"Nah…just making sure it was me and not some random handsome stranger, if you know what I mean."

Sora was handsome, Naminé knew, but she didn't want him to know that. As in, she didn't want him to know that she saw him that way. No way. Never.

Sora was looking through the pages again. And again he stopped. This time, though, he didn't say a word. He just sat there, staring at the drawing-was it a drawing? She couldn't tell. She didn't just use pencil and eraser; she was adept with the pen, with paints, with pastels, with…her mind.

"Wow…"

Naminé leaned over his shoulder, tried to ignore the close proximity between them, and stared at a drawing she forgot she had done.

At the top of the page was an eye. A clear, pale blue eye. Her eye, Naminé remembered. She had done this when she was miserable. There were tears dripping from the eye. Each tear fell onto a rippling image of a heart. The tears glowed. She had darkened the background and the tears glowed. The heart rippled over what seemed to be a dark, dark sea but the teardrops…they just glowed. Like droplets of light.

Sora was silent for a long time, and Naminé was too frightened to dare break the silence. But after a while, Sora looked at her, turning his head slightly to keep both his eyes on her. Naminé tried not to shake; there was something about his bold blue eyes that left her with rubber for limbs.

There was concern in his eyes. And when he spoke, his voice was so soft she had to draw nearer to hear him. "Are you alright? I've been looking through these drawings…and I'm worried."

She looked away. "I…I'm getting better…I think. I mean…it's not everyday that you wake up thankful your heart's still beating."

"Yeah. We take too many things for granted."

She felt like she was soaring. They were making conversation! "I…I was just upset that…that I was acting so foolish. So stupid. There's so much I regret doing…but nothing more than what happened seven months ago."

She fell silent, wallowing in gloom. In disgust at herself. Because of her actions she could no longer live like others, carefree and joyful. Every day was measured, every heartbeat was filled with thanks, and every step was taken under the watchful eye of her hawk-like mother.

"I…" She blinked but her vision would not return. She closed her eyes tightly, then, and felt something slide down her face. Tears. She was crying. "I wish I could go back and change everything. If I did…if I did, I wouldn't have to live like this. The doctors say I have up to ten years to live before I have to get a new heart. Ten years. I have only ten years to live this life, Sora. What am I supposed to do? I want to live with you guys, live and experience life, but I can't. I just can't! If I hadn't gone out that day…eaten that sandwich…had allergies…I…I…"

The tears were coming faster, were clogging up her ability to speak. She felt herself reduced to tears and misery. She knew – the doctors all told her when she first woke up from surgery – that she had up to ten years to live with the new heart. She would have to enjoy all of life in ten years. And her mother would never, ever let her enjoy it. She would keep her precious daughter confined upstairs, never to leave the house, until the day she died.

Naminé never felt so doomed.

Then she felt arms go around her, felt them pull her against a warm body. She pressed against it, felt herself shake as she cried and cried about her lot in life, her lack of luck. The arms tightened around her considerably just enough to let her know that the person was there. And then she heard his voice in her ear.

"You can't turn back time, Naminé," Sora whispered. "Everyone makes mistakes that they regret later, no matter how big or how small. But we also move beyond them. What's done is done, Naminé. Be glad you can still sample life."

Words of wisdom from someone infamous for his lack of it. Naminé felt herself smile. She always had confidence in this kid. She knew he would mature, become old enough to speak of such things as life. She didn't think it would be now, though.

But he was right. She was alive, after all. She should enjoy life, not wallow in her misery. It was past six months; the doctors said she could walk about outside of the confines of the home after six months, although strenuous exercise was out of question, along with a handful other things.

It was her mother's fears that kept her confined to her room. Her mother's fears that she would fall ill and her mother wouldn't be there to help her. But more than that, it was her guilt. Naminé felt so guilty about what she had put upon everybody by acting like a rebel and nearly getting herself killed. It was a regret that would haunt her forever.

But she remembered what Sora said. Sample life.

Naminé opened her eyes slightly and saw her drawing behind him, the one with the eye that wept tears of light into a dark, dark sea. She smiled at the glowing teardrops. Droplets of light. Every tear she was weeping now was of light. Her heart had been remade, she thought. Except it was missing one thing.

"Feeling better?" Sora asked.

"Yes, much better. Thank you."

She could sense him smile, felt his hug tighten for only a moment. Then he pulled away and looked at her.

"When you feel better, tell your mom that you need a life. How can you stand being in the same room every day and night for six months straight, anyways?"

Naminé smiled. "It's a secret."

She willed herself not to stare at her drawing pad. Sora just shook his head. "You women always have their secrets…"

"Sexist," they heard Kairi snort. Naminé looked up to see that their friends were leaving. Her cousin wasn't moving though, and neither was Roxas. He was at the door, watching, waiting.

"Shut up, who asked you?" Sora retorted. He looked red. Blushing, Naminé realized. "Hey, where's everybody going?"

Roxas pulled out his cell and looked at it. "The hour's up. Remember what her mom told us? We get one hour, then we haul ass. Guess we'll see you downstairs, though."

Was it Naminé's imagination or did Roxas wink at her? Kairi went to him, then they left the room. Kairi seemed to take extra care in closing the door. And now they were in the room, alone.

Naminé thought she was going to die.

Sora pulled off his thin cloth mask and flashed her a smile. _His_ smile. She hadn't seen it for seven months, except in dreams. She felt the heart inside her tremble and raised a hand and pressed it against her chest, to try and calm it down.

"You…you shouldn't take that off. If my mom comes in…"

"_If_ your mom comes in," Sora said rather amiably. "They should be keeping her distracting right about now…"

Shocked, Naminé pointed an accusing finger at him. "You guys were plotting this? All of this? Is this a set up?"

"Well…" Sora looked so adorably cute when he was sheepish. "Let's just say that I asked for some time alone with you and, uh…they agreed to give it."

'…asked for some time alone with you…'

"But…but why?" she whispered. _Oh my god, what does he mean?_

Sora looked her straight in the eye. He looked quite serious for once.

"The truth is…and I've been wanting to tell you this for years…" Despite his seriousness he couldn't get his words out proper. He looked flustered, turning even redder as he scrambled with his words. Naminé waited with bated breath, hoping he was going to say what she wished he would say, feeling despair that he wasn't going to say what she wanted him to say.

"…I…I really like you, Naminé. That's all…"

He turned away. Naminé was left to gape at him.

"…l-l-like me?" she stammered. This couldn't be happening.

"When I heard about the car crash, I freaked out. I tried to get to the hospital but they wouldn't let me in to see you. Only family and relatives could. I did find your parents, though. Your mom…she was hysterical."

Naminé giggled. "Yeah, that's her, all right."

"When they…when they said you needed a heart transplant, I thought I was going to die…"

_Me, too_.

He looked at her. He had the most sober face she had ever seen.

"Every day for six months I thought I was dying. I wanted to see you. I always loved your drawings-actually, everybody did. They all wanted to see you again. But I wanted to see you, not just because of your drawings. I wanted to see…just you. You know, the person behind…behind the drawings…goddamn it, I don't know how to say this…"

She bowed her head, stared down at her hands as they continued to crinkle the blankets. Her mind was spinning. Her whole world was spinning.

_Sora likes me…and he got everybody to distract Mom so he could tell me this…alone._

"You know…" She could tell Sora was setting the discussion on course for a different direction. "Nobody knows this either, but I thought you might like to know, being Kairi's cousin and all…"

Naminé looked up at him. What about Kairi? And did Sora just inch closer? She felt the need to back away but couldn't.

"Five months ago, Roxas asked her out. It was pretty funny, actually. Remember that blueberry pie?"

How did he know about the pie? Her mother had given her some slices, said it was baked especially for her. That left her feeling so happy. And the pie tasted so good…

"Yeah, Kairi got Roxas and me to help her make it for you. She…uh…knew how I felt. Well, Roxas did, too. Anyways, I guess I was out of the kitchen when he told her-oh yeah, they covered me in flour. I went outside to dust myself off and came back in to find the two _kissing_.I threw blueberries at them and we had a little war. Luckily your pie survived…"

He drifted off, chuckled haltingly, sheepishly. "There was no point to that story, sorry…"

Naminé laughed. She hadn't laughed in such a long time but that story…and Sora's embarrassment as he told the story…it was just too funny.

Then suddenly he was hugging her, tightly, as her laughter got cut off.

"I love it when you laugh," he said into her ear. He pulled back, smiled one more time, and then leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips.

Funny. He tasted like blueberries.

In her mind swam that drawing she made, with the droplets of light. She could see the white heart glowing strongly, stoutly against the dark blue sea upon which it was cast. The dark blue depths of her despair were being overcome by white light.

Naminé smiled through the kiss. She could feel the heart beating in her, peacefully, full of relief. _Her_ heart. It was ready for all her secrets, her desires, her passion, her despair, her hopes and dreams. Her sanctuary.

Sora had found a way to give it to her.

When he pulled back and looked away, waiting for the verdict, she only said, "Thank you…"

And kissed him.

**Author's Endnote:** Success! I _can_ write Somine. Please press that little button down there and review. I'd like thoughts and opinions and suggestions on my first Somine. Arigatou!


End file.
